I made Kate cry.

Boy oh boy. It feels like summer! It's about 48 degrees here. Yesterday morning I braved harsh wind and pouring rain to walk to class, but by 1 a.m. it was sunny and relatively warm.

And what better way to spend a beautiful day than by listening to some Wesley Willis tunes? This guy is mentally retarded, but produces albums in about five hours. Apparently, he uses a casio and lays lyrics over a loop of "samba" and "pop rock 2."

Kate just told me that she saw a man sitting at a computer reach into a garbage pale and pick out a tissue ... and then use it.

God. You're too good and kind and generous. Thank you.

To clarify, what I said was that I'm sure the Valentine's Day rave will be awesome, but it doesn't even matter because I'll be with you. I could spend five hours at a duckpond with you and it would be the best time I'd ever had at a duckpond.

And you don't have to jump in and quack to make me smile. You make me smile every time I talk to you.

Today TJ told me that I could make a duckpond exciting or something along those lines. Is it worth mentioning that I'd jump into it and pretend to be a duck if I thought it would make him smile?

"Nobody wants to be lonely" is making me question my identity.

I swear, though, I only like Ricky's singing. The shrieker still grates on my nerves. It's just such a cool groove and the banshee's part is so singable for me!

This was a splash page image for too short a period of time, so I'm reposting it. It is the signature TJ smirk. I've been a schmuck since I was little.

Ben is still alive.

Basically, I received a random phone call this morning, around the time when Ben wakes up, from a young man with a voice similar to Ben's. It actually sounded like Ben with morning voice. I answered the phone and thought it was him, I spoke to him for FIVE minutes, cracking jokes and busting on Candice. I asked about his roommate! Then he said, "I gotta take this call. I'll call you back later!" CLICK. Hang up.

I was pissed so I called him back, but his cell phone was turned off.

TJ was confused.

I had a feeling it wasn't him while I was talking about his roommate, but that was a ludicrous thought...I thought. (Thought)

I called his phone about 10 times. Finally, I got in touch with the golden boy and he swore (on our love!) that he did not call me.

No one has my work number! Who could it be?

Ah, I'm over it.

And Ben is alive. Although he did get a few harrassing emails.

Yo, Benz,

What's wrong with this statement:

"Minute Maid Strawberry Soda is the most disgusting pop I've ever tasted."

Pop is a sound. Soda is a beverage. SODA! It's called strawberry soda! You're not in Michigan anymore, there's no excuse.

Also... "primary concern of course is whether I can afford monthly airfar to the East."

I'll hold you to that!

Minute Maid Strawberry Soda is the most disgusting pop I've ever tasted. Although Faygo Diet Chocolate Creme is pretty gross in itself. What can I say? Except, that I'm excited to learn that Daft Punk is responsible for that fun One more time song. Euro-disco-dance. Oooh and people love/hate it. I'm so out of touch. I've got TJVision. 150% focused on that kid. Well, between that and worrying about whether I'm going to be fired and left homeless and penniless (primary concern of course is whether I can afford monthly airfar to the East.)

Still sipping this strawberry crap ...

Four-year-olds boxing?

I'll explain the D-E-A-D comment later... It's quite funny.

Ben Jenkins. You are D-E-A-D.

You bring the dynamite, you get an explosion.

Yes, as longtime supporters of the NY Giants (ahem, they play in New Jersey, thank you very much), my family was disappointed by last night's awful showing. It's especially lame because my uncle and grandfather made it down to Tampa to see the action.

But the halftime show made up for it. Yeah, baby.

And he's off...

Journalriffic.

Hold on a second, TJ is on the phone.

Got to the office at 12, found out we're all going out to lunch to celebrate the move at 12:30. T'will take at least 90 minutes.

Sweet.

Had just enough time to check email. Then I come back and have to start packing stuff, anyway.

Sweet.

Media Law and Responsibility.

We were discussing ethics and values and judgment processes and decision-making models; all the things we take for granted, doing without really trying to understand.

My professor made us write down the following values and rank them in importance.

ambitious
broadminded
capable
cheerful
clean
courageous
forgiving
helpful
honest
imaginitive
independent
intellectual
logical
loving
obedient
polite
responsible
self-controlled

I was the only person in the class to rank courageous first. I just think having any other attribute is pointless if you don't have courage. My top seven were: courageous, ambitious, imaginitive, broadminded, independent, intellectual and loving.

The least important value? Obedient.

That's right, kids, you're dealing with a rebel here...

The only thing that shocked me about this Ecstacy article (which I grudgingly read yesterday) is that it isn't an amazing (or great) piece of journalism, much like the story about gay youth using the Internet.

I totally could have written a better piece.

And I wish I were joking.

(Is that obnoxious of me? Oh well.)

What's scarier? The fact that Spears fans are this uneducated (and, come on, we're dealing with mostly pre-teens in this specific case), or the fact that this Washington Post reporter actually thought of the idea of polling fans in a Spears chat room about their political beliefs.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A53300-2001Jan12.html

I love the idea of Bill sitting in a chair in the house in Westchester, laughign his ass off, red-faced, watching and reading news reports about the White House prank on Dubya.

I don't often grin like a madman while walking by myself, but this afternoon I did (and it wasn't because I was thinking about you know who).

Coming back from Shakespeare (Jacobean Plays), I crossed College Ave. to go to Au Bon Pan and the car that stopped to let me go was filled with white kids who were playing up to hip-hop look. The music blasting through their speakers? "Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!"

I give them a quick, perplexed look, and giggled as I continued on my merrier way.

There's nothing more annoying than walking outside to your car just as the almighty New Brunswick Parking Authority was placing a ticket for alternate-side parking on my windshield.

Well, maybe Monica losing to Capriati is as annoying... At least she and Hingis are still kicking ass in doubles. Looks like we could see Seles' first grand slam doubles title.

Ben and I have spoken to each other for an average of an hour a day, every day since March. We were basically best friends. I used to lament, "God! When you get a boyfriend we'll never talk. It'll be awful."

Funny how things turn out.

The Northeast was hit with another snow storm. Just as the warm rain (40+ degrees!!!) was washing away the foot and a half we received during New Year's, another 4 inches or so hit my area. I spent about 30 minutes trying to shovel the snow that was blocking my car into it's spot. And my door is frozen. I fought and fought but could not open it. Not so cute... All because I was too lazy to cook my own dinner.

Cathleen is making waffles for everyone.

I wonder what she'll be like when she actually has free time, after her final term at Targum ends in a few weeks.

I just spent nearly two hours configuring Outlook Express and dowloading the *mountain* of emails from my Rutgers and Vignette accounts. I deleted, re-read, replied, exported.

It was fantastic fun, if you wanna know the truth.

Classes. I really dreaded going to my classes this semester, but they all seem cool. I’m deluding myself into thinking they’ll be interesting and challenging enough to motivate me to go to class and study and read, etc.

Advanced Reporting should be very informative in terms of showing us how to avoid relying on lazy tools for researching and reporting. The Internet will be a key player in the class, as well, so that’s interesting. The professor seemed really aloof during the first class, but she’s warmed up to us. She seems very professional but fun and understanding, as well. During the first class one of the students asked her what she preferred to be called: Shannon, Professor Martin or Dr. Martin. She responded, “Call me anything except shitface and stupid.”

Classic.

Shakespeare: Jacobean Plays is awesome, too. It’s a big lecture, but the professor is one of those really typical English professors, dorky and goofy but funny and entertaining. I’m excited to read the plays, too: Measure for Measure, King Lear and Antony and Cleopatra, to name a few. The down side is that there are like 7 kids from my high school in the class.

Media Law and Responsibility will probably be a nightmare. There is a lot of work and the professor is this notorious lunatic from the journalism department. I’ve come into contact with her on several occasions because of Targum and she’s always rubbed me the wrong way. But the first lecture was decent, so I think it’ll be okay. At least she’s entertaining. I mean, she looks like a crazy homeless person, that’s good for laughs.

Spanish Literature 334 is the class I was really dreading. For whatever reason, I do not want to deal with Spanish anymore. I don’t think I’m going to Spanish this summer (that’s more about the chance to go to Berkeley instead, though), I can’t deal with thinking in Spanish, I don’t even know if I’ll continue with the major or make it a minor (I have enough credits now for the minor). But when I got to the class I felt a million times better. The professor is young and unsure and nonthreatening, so that’s a plus. And there’s a guy names BLAIR in my class, who was in last semester’s class, so I have a friend on Day 1.

I also am working about 24 hours a week, but I created a much better schedule. Hopefully I won’t be stressed…

Hopefully I’ll have all sorts of time to jet off to the other coast. Cause, you know, that’s a priority, as well.

Yes, the power is actually going out in California today. Hit me at work for an hour this afternoon and fate would have it that TJ was in class at the moment, leaving me with absolutely nothing to do. So, I went and got a crunchy snickers. I highly recommend them.

I said crazy go crazy don't let your body be lazy.

TJ taught me a new way to dance, and I haven't stopped since New Years.

Bliss. You know.

In the haze of Ben's being here at Rutgers, I didn't think for one second about classes, which began today. I've been so caught up in showing him New York City, northern Jersey, downtown NB (and my bedroom) that I put off all preparations.

Eh. I didn't even clear up registration until last week, so I guess that will be the theme of theis semster...that and skipping classes to jet off to the west coast.

One last night.

I'm cooking tonight. I dropped him off at the train station this morning. Early. How pathetically, disturbingly, not me.

:)

Last night Ben urged me to check Flight Tracker before I left (at 6:20) to pick him up.

I did not.

The flight is delayed.

His 7:50 flight is delayed two hours, to 9:48.

Also, JFK is a nightmare airport. I didn't realize I'd have to actually drive through Manhattan. Yikes.

But, whatever. I'll take advantage of the free Internet terminals for a while before walking to the gate to stare at the walls blankly.

"Toot."

That's the sound of my tooting my own horn.

I had the top tw stories of the week at work: one about Reform Jews urging parents to pull kids from the Boy Scouts because of their discriminatory policies (it never ends) and the MTV hate-crimes prevention campaign. The MTV story had twice as many views as the second most read story.

Woo ha.

In other news, if you couldn't tell, Ben Jenkins will be here in NJ in about 18 hours. His first trip to the NYC area, so I am beyond excited. I've never been s psyched to wake up at 5:45 a.m. (gotta pick him up at JFK airport at 7:50) It's like Christmas, or teejaymas, all over again.

Late night laundry, red-eye flight, snow, cold, getting up crazy early to go into the office in the city. Yay :-)

Will he or won't he, folks? We'll find out soon.

In other news, I think I'll be staying away from New Hampshire for a while. "There is nothing wrong with slaughtering a cop. Just throw the carcass into the dumpster with the rest of the garbage."

Weirder is the fact that Matt, a new intern, sent the link to me with this in the email: You will find this interesting.

Hmmm. What does that mean?

Ditto.

(I love you, too)

Finally, the truth comes out!

So, last night I went to a Rutgers Men’s Basketball game – my first since freshman year. They lost by one point to Syracuse, but the bball was secondary to the cheerleaders! What a strange, insane species. It’s like going to the zoo, I swear.

I wrote a story today about MTV's decision to break away from regular programming and air 17 consecutive hours of the names of hate-crime victims. A lot of people think this is an empty gesture or a publicity stunt, but after talking to MTV and gay-rights advocacy groups, I think that's totally a pessimistic and incorrect belief.

MTV is losing $2 million because of this, there are no sponsors or advertisers. They're starting at 10 p.m., but, guys, 10 is the showcase hour on the channel, it's the 10 spot. Who's gonna watch MTV at 10? Everyone who watches shows like The Real World, Jackass, Tom Green, et al. The 17 hours ( which is really 3-hour loops of names ) is not their only action. It airs after a Matthew Shepard docudrama and a roundtable discussion of hate crimes, all in primetime. It's all part of a year-long, intense campaign that will include more programming, online components and an overall media blitz costing a lot of money, I'm sure.

Sure, the station supported Eminem, but, as much as I hate him, MTV is supposed to reflect modern culture and popular music. It would be worse, in my opinion, to practice censorship by refusing to air Eminem's videos at certain times or refuse to devote as much hype to it as it gave Britney, N Sync and other comparably successful artists. They *have* turned down the publicity machine since the controversy came to a high point during the Video Music Awards...

I don't know. I just think before we judge actions we have to try to understand all of the variables. MTV is a corporation concerned with making money, but they have been a long-time champion of social justice and especially gay-rights issues. If the news media director of GLAAD, with whom I spoke today, applauds the station, why shouldn't you?

If I could briefly stray from Ben for a moment...

Funny news from the BBC. Apparently, biting off someone's testicle is a bad thing.

Hi TJ's mom!!

Journal: The trip.

I'm trying to figure out how to accurately describe this trip, to do justice to it, to share with you how perfect it was.

I'll tell you this much, I wished on a star months ago and it seems to have come true.

I just want to thank TJ and Candice again for the best new years and the best weekend ever. I miss you guys so much already.