File this under "too fucked up to be made up."

From (female) friend:

i've been in the hospital the past few days. was feeling sick a few days ago, went to the grocery store for ice cream (Ed note: naturally, ice cream will cure what ails ya), blacked out, broke my jaw and was taken to emergency room.

during the ambulance ride they also discovered my blood pressure was 56 (normal is 120) and my red blood cell or hemoglobin was 5 (normail is 12).

got a blood transfusion that night of 3 pints, but my bp was still only around 91. they been doing tests to find out where the internal bleeding is coming from, but still haven't discovered it yet.

the most outrageous experience thru all this is that this one italian doctor referred to me as "mr. johnson"** and then another older doctor kept calling me "son". i shit you not. i had a baseball cap on, but still...

love,
mr. johnson
ps. also got four black stiches on my chin, so it looks like i have a goatee now.

**name changed to protect the ridiculous.