Thursday, June 29, 2000

I don't want to keep posting my own stories, but I really find this topic fascinating. The Boy Scouts are going to destroy themselves if they aren't careful. When the CEO suggested I try to work a business angle into this I was skeptical, wanting to write a regular hard news story instead, but it turned out really well. I was very surprised at the support Dale got from governmental organizations...

*********

By T.J. DEGROAT

©2000 my Internship

June 29, 2000



The Boy Scouts of America’s legal campaign against the inclusion of gays in its membership led to yesterday’s favorable Supreme Court ruling, but some civil rights experts say it could cause severe backlash from philanthropic groups and corporate sponsors.



Yesterday the justices voted 5-4 in favor of the Boy Scouts, ruling that freedom of association, as described in the First Amendment, gives the organization absolute power to accept and reject members.



“The Boy Scouts asserts that homosexual conduct is inconsistent with the values it seeks to instill,” Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist wrote in the court’s majority opinion. “The Boy Scouts takes an official position with respect to homosexual conduct, and that is sufficient for First Amendment purposes.”



The Boy Scouts made it clear that homosexuality goes against their oath to be “morally straight” when the organization ousted James Dale, an assistant scoutmaster from Troop 73 in Matawan, N.J., after being described as a gay student leader at Rutgers University in a 1990 newspaper article.



The former Eagle Scout began his legal battle in 1992. Yesterday’s decision overturns a 1999 ruling by the New Jersey Supreme Court that said the Scouts violated the state’s anti-discrimination law.



“I’ve spent nearly half of my life in Scouting, so obviously this decision is disappointing,” Dale said. “If I learned anything during my years as a Scout, it was to believe that justice will prevail. America realizes that discrimination is wrong, even if the Boy Scouts don’t know that yet.”



In a prepared statement, the Boy Scouts said the decision affirms its standing as a private association with the right to choose its own membership.



“The Boy Scouts of America, as a private organization, must have the right to establish its own standards of membership if it is to continue to instill the values of the Scout Oath and Law in boys,” the statement said.



While the Scouts don’t make an effort to discover the sexual orientation of its members, the organization believes “an avowed homosexual is not a role model for the values espoused in the Scout Oath and Law,” according to the statement.



David Buckel, a senior staff attorney for the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund who worked on the case, said the court’s decision forces governmental agencies such as public schools to pull support from the Scouts.



“If they sponsor the Boy Scouts they are giving governmental approval to an anti-gay message,” he said. “They now must look for programs that serve all youth in a positive way.”



In fact, 37 amicus briefs were filed in the case. Supporters included the American Psychological Association, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, 11 states, seven cities and five school districts.



Financial action was taken by such groups as the United Way of Somerset County in New Jersey, which revoked its annual donation of $30,600 in May because the Scouts refused to sign an anti-discrimination policy.



Other organizations may follow suit and could prove to be disastrous to the Scouts’ cause, Buckel said.

Wednesday, June 28, 2000

DEPRESSING!!! I just wrote this for the internship:



AIDS Threatens To Erase a Generation



By T.J. DEGROAT

©2000 my Internship

June 28, 2000



AIDS-related illnesses will kill more than half of all 15-year-olds in the African countries most affected by the pandemic, including South Africa and Zimbabwe, where a fifth of all adults are HIV-positive, according to a study released by the United Nations yesterday.



“The world has never before experienced death rates of this magnitude among young adults of both sexes across all social strata,” the U.N. Joint Program on HIV/AIDS said in the report, titled “Report on the Global HIV/AIDS Epidemic.”



The projections were calculated from statistical models based on surveys of infection rates in African countries. Overall, Africa accounts for 71 percent of current infections and 83 percent of all AIDS-related deaths.



If rates remain steady in countries such as Botswana, there will be more adults in their 60's and 70's than in their 40's and 50's, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.



The report stated there are 16 countries where more than 10 percent of people age 15-49 are infected with the virus: Botswana, Burundi, Central African Republic, Djibouti, Ethiopia, Ivory Coast, Kenya, Lesotho, Malawi, Mozambique, Namibia, Rwanda, South Africa, Swaziland, Zambia and Zimbabwe.



Lack of education and denial are part of the problem, according to the report. A 1999 survey of 72 Kenyans whose parents died of AIDS found that none of the minors believed their parents had died of the virus. Most blamed witchcraft.



There are now 34.3 million people infected with HIV worldwide, according to the report. The rate of 0.6 percent of the population has stabilized in the United States, but it’s one of the highest rates among developed nations. An estimated 850,000 Americans have HIV.



The report warned that some Americans have become careless, especially gay men in cities such as New York and San Francisco, where some are engaging in unprotected sex with multiple partners.



While financial efforts to prevent the disease from spreading have increased, the estimated $300 million in support this year falls very short of the $2 billion needed annually in sub-Saharan Africa alone, the report said.

This is lame. Boy scouts! I interviewed James Dale, the former boy scout who was given the boot when the organization found out he was gay. James went to Rutgers so I tracked him down and spoke to him. He would not be going through all of this emotional garbage if he didn't really believe in the cause. That makes me even more annoyed with the decision, knowing that this guy has put so many things in his life on hold to fight for something like this...
This is the way I write an article:



I have a press release or my notes from an interview or many pieces of stories and I just plop them into a word document. Then I hack away, cleaning up type-os, figuring I will just work from top to bottom making sense of everything. Then I begin feeling urges to move the graph I just clean up to a higher point, where it would flow so nicely! So I keep doing that with everything I see until I reach the bottom of the file. Then I look at the document and am almost surprised that everything fits. All that’s left is to make sure the lead and the last graph are kick-ass and that there are transitions throughout the piece.



Finis.

I'm trying to get an interview with the creators of this really cool, new comic about the life of a Latino dealing with two cultures, but in a very cute and humorous way. I absolutely love Tía Carmen!

Tuesday, June 27, 2000

Oh my goodness. This is such a sweet day.



I have a women from siliconindia pursuing me to write a story, which will be quite an interesting one. She is awesome and accomodating and loves the site. I had someone from Merrill Lynch put me through to an unreachable executive because she loves our newsletter. I also am emailing a producer at NBC news who's the new president of the National Association of Hispanic Journalists. She is very willing to let me interview her, which is awesome for the site and for my personal network of contacts.



SWEET!



Also, Ben Jenkins is a total loon! :)
Tennis time.



Annamaniia? Oh dear, where are the results? Anna Kournikova came along with Hingisd and the Williams sisters and was hyped just as much as they were. But unlike her peers, Anna has no results at all. She has not even won a tournament yet! But she has managed to prosper because of her looks. She is a very attractive girl, but ... I will never be a fan until she starts kicking some ass.



My Monica has won a few tournaments this year, though. And losing to the eventual champ at the French Open is not a bad way to go. But Monica almost lost in the first round today at Wimbledon, which does not bode well for her.



Hmmm...



From the Associated Press:



A former army officer has openly confirmed stories that have long circulated in Chile - that political prisoners were routinely executed at a soccer stadium in the capital of this South American country after the 1973 military coup.

Monday, June 26, 2000

Hi.



So hop on over to the journal section to check out what TJ + scribble have to offer. (Ha, beat ya Tim!)



Also, there are many photos in the cam directory. Look at the lovely Jersey shore or at pictures of my childhood. Ugh. Many stories go along with those photos. Some awesome, some not so...



Minute Maid Orange Juice is very strange. It's definitely all about Tropicana.



Also, there will be loads of pictures (of the graudation party, my journey to my old neighborhood and the beach) tonight along with new journal happenings. Fun.

Friday, June 23, 2000

WARNING: Below is an insanely long post. It is a glimpse at another side of me, as seen through day-long emails between myself and Ben Jenkins. 9-5 gets a bit boring, you know. (FYI, Times are Pacific for whatever reason)

-----Original Message-----
From: Ben
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 7:55 AM
To: TJ Degroat
Subject: RE: Hmm


I'm bored. I am supposed to be doing this thing, but I haven't, and don't
want to talk to anyone.

I am, however, going to Chicago this weekend and that should be fun
in the sun.

ben


At 10:58 AM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:
Fun in the sun? Fun in the rain. And wind. I hope you
Have lousy weather!!!

Not really...

Kim just came up to me and said, "That dude's wavy gravy,
man."

Full of crack!

Also, Lia (not Leah as I wrote in the blog) is a fountain of wisdom.
"If all you have is a hammer all you'll see is nails."

Do your work, kiddo.

_
T.J. DeGroat

-----Original Message-----
From: Ben
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 8:11 AM
To: TJ Degroat
Subject: RE: Hmm


You're a superstar, yes, that's what you are you know it.

I hate those stupid Porn * shirts, don't you? Lame.

I am just going to listen to Madonna all day and vogue around my cube
and drink a lot of water and talk with Amy about resumes. She says Matt's
resume is really good, but I have no way of getting to it
any time soon. So damn. WOW THERE IS AN ITSY BITSY LITTLE BABY
HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to go look at it and make faces and whatnot.

Write me an objective thing.

At 11:09 AM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:
A baby?!?!?!?! I want to see a baby. I will look at the Amaebi baby.

I will email amaebi and ask him about the baby.

I must go to your fs cam to see you vogue. Listening to Madonna
And voguing in your cube is like the most ridiculous thing I've ever
heard. But it's fitting, eh?

VOGUE

Objection: To gain sexy experience in web production of sexy sites in
Order to become a much sexier person.
_
T.J. DeGroat


-----Original Message-----
From: Ben
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 8:20 AM
To: TJ Degroat
Subject: RE: Hmm


I've decided to take a new approach, along with the ultra-boring objective
statement I need something such as the following:

User-centered task analysis across settings | Information
interpretation and design in various media
| Multiple projects in fast-paced, deadline-oriented environments |
Organization and prioritization under quickly changing circumstances |
Creativity and curiosity and so on. But I need to think of them. Ugh this
just keeps getting worse. I need to be drunk.

-ben



At 11:16 AM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:
Ew...those all make it sound like s much horrible work.

Grotesque.

Hey, when are you going to chicago?

_
T.J. DeGroat

-----Original Message-----
From: Ben
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 8:26 AM
To: TJ Degroat
Subject: RE: Hmm


tomorrow morning I will depart to the chicago land.

you?



At 11:32 AM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:

How early?

I will depart for Chicago in October. Maybe we can hang out.

I leave for home, though, tonight at 8. You are supposed to
Remind me to pick up Angela. At home and will go online and sleep sleep
sleep until it's time to be carted to my cousin's house for the graduation
party featuring TONS of family members I haven't seen in YEARS who I DISLIKE
intensely.

Then I will be carted home in time to frantically search for a present for Angela's birthday before meeting her.

_
T.J. DeGroat


-----Original Message-----
From: Ben
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 8:53 AM
To: TJ Degroat
Subject: RE: Hmm



Leave for Chicago at 9/10 tomorrow. You know me. I can't handle
any earlier than that. Eva said she wanted to come back at like 2 on
Sunday. And I said oh yah whatever, we have to go to the gay parade!
Yay for the gay parade. I will take the pictures.

And, if I'm livin in SF I probably won't meet you in Chicago. Plus another
rendezvous in Chicago would be bad. Dontcha think?

How about this:

Seeking an entry-level web production position in an innovative environment
where creativity, learning, collaboration and humour
are highly valued.



At 02:00 PM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:
That's much better, the humor bit is good, but for the love of
god, be american!!! HUMOR.

Dude, lunch was a trip, literally and figuratively. Kim, a very
professional, polite lady, got us way off track because we missed
the exit so she literally flipped, cursing for an entire 3 minute block. 30
minutes later we finally got back to the restaurant where we all acted like
we had crack streaming through our veins.

Car ride back... Kim and Hara rapped all of "It takes Two" Rob
Base and DJ EZ Rock before we joined in for a Boyz II Men/Color Me Badd mix.

AHHH.

Now I'm on a frantic search for mp3 or ra of Electric Slide. Can
you help me look? I will love you forever.

_
T.J. DeGroat


-----Original Message-----
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 11:11 AM
To: TJ Degroat
Subject: RE: Hmm


Fantastic, you are back. Finally. I have been so so so so so so
so bored. I have been doing absolutely nothing.

There are a zillion copies of electric slide on napster.

bad, dumb day.

-ben



At 02:08 PM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:
I am back!

But I don't have napster. I need it on a website or something.

_
T.J. DeGroat


-----Original Message-----
From: Ben
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 11:17 AM
To: TJ Degroat
Subject: RE: Hmm



go get napster, you dink.

btw, it is like the worst thing ever on the face of the earth ever to
curse my ears.

the thought of you doing the little dance though, brings great joy to
me.

ben



At 02:13 PM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:
I cannot get napster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh. I will go search the internet while I should be working now.

:)

You're supposed to do it for me :P

How is your day going?

_
T.J. DeGroat



-----Original Message-----
From: Ben
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 11:24 AM
To: TJ Degroat
Subject: RE: Hmm

Just download napster and use it once and then uninstall it you tard.

My day fucking sucks.

I can't wait to get out of here.

-ben




At 02:26 PM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:
You are not hearing what I'm saying.

Not an option.

But that's okay.

Why does your day suck? Why are you not happy? WHY WHY WHY???

"Smile...no one will know what you're thinking."

T.J. DeGroat


-----Original Message-----
From: Ben
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 11:35 AM
To: TJ Degroat
Subject: RE: Hmm


You are crazy. Always an option.

I am having a bad day because I'm bored as piss and want to go to sleep.

-ben



At 02:33 PM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:
You were so evil last night.

TJ?

UH HUH

Goodnight.

UGH.

_
T.J. DeGroat



-----Original Message-----
From: Ben
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 11:43 AM
To: TJ Degroat
Subject: RE: Hmm



I thought we were at that stage in our relationship.

I didn't think we needed long, mushy, over-emphasized goodbyes anymore.

-ben



At 02:37 PM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:
Yup.

You're right.

I was being facetious.

You bitch.
_
T.J. DeGroat



-----Original Message-----
From: Ben
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 11:46 AM
To: TJ Degroat
Subject: RE: Hmm


I took a picture of my desktop on my computer at home and it's the desktop of my laptop. and i took a picture of that so now I have a picture of my desktop that's a picture of my desktop at work. now i am going to take a picture of the desktop at home that's the picture of my desktop at work that's the picture of my desktop at home.

it features the baby.

-ben


At 02:45 PM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:
That is so horrible.

Except the baby part.

I have to re-edit my feature on the female CEO. It's annoying because I
wrote the way Barbara likes it, but Carol is filling in for the next week and a half, and she likes them the way I would normally write them, so...

Ugh.

_
T.J. DeGroat




Just got tickets for Second City in Chicago. Not the main stage,
unfortunately, but, whatever. pretty cheap, $15.

sorry about your pain and suffering with the writing.

i feel your pain.

i am getting excited!!

-ben



At 04:55 PM 6/23/2000 -0400, you wrote:
I am done talking to you.

Bye bye.

LATER.

_
T.J. DeGroat



good. i was getting really fucking boring.

talk to you later.

-ben
Seven in 10 students in the class of 2000 say they know someone their age who has attempted suicide.

Thursday, June 22, 2000

I know this is silly.



But I just smile like I total goofball when I think of Ben moving to San Francisco. I don't think you should pressure yourself to go through with anything. But checking out options is an intelligent move, and settling for anything other than the best is bullshit. I'm glad I have this chance to talk to you while you're making the decision. That's very cool.



Speaking of San Fran. I'm all cleared by my editor to take off the last week of July. And I am going to make reservations within the week. Do you think it would be fun to take the train?! Maybe not. How do I find cheapy cheap airline tickets? Find them for me!!! :)



How's it going with the other potential moves ?

Wednesday, June 21, 2000

The idea of moving to San Francisco is becoming more of a reality every moment I think about it. Last week I got an email from a friend who moved out there with a job posting. I decided I'd follow up, just for fun. But then I realized maybe I shouldn't make it just for fun. Maybe I should do it. So I talked to Jeff, my mentor and great friend who moved out there a few months ago as well.



And now I think I'm going to do it. How crazy is that, TJ?
I walked into the ohsocollege CD store today and seriously contemplated buying the Mandy Moore CD before shrieking like a schoolgirl and running out in search of a life.
It's lame that it took so long for Candice and I to hang out, but the each encounter definitely is worth the wait. When we get together we become (well, she may always be) the most derranged, immature children.



Snippets:



Walking slowly down Easton Ave., eating ice cream from Thomas Sweet, we approach a homeless guy who says, "Have any money for some food?" Candice looks at him thoughtfully and with sorrow in her face says no, as she shovels a mound of ice cream into her mouth. 10 seconds later we both realize what happened and laughed hysterically. It was really funny, but so wrong and evil. We're really not that obnoxious. Andrea should appreciate that.



Candice: If I could look like anyone who I know it would be Addie.

TJ: I'd be white, though. It's just so much easier in this world.

Candice: All the advantages, yeah.

TJ: I'd be a bisexual white woman with big tits. Them bitches rule the world!



Also, Candice and I made definite plans to go to San Francisco at the end of July. This makes me very happy.



I hope I don't get hate mail. I am a nice boy.
I would love to tell you all about the 27-year-old female CEO I interviewed today and how FIERCE she is, but I do not have time.



Instead I will leave you with this bit of hilarity: My grandmother, who is just too cute for words, told me at graduation yesterday that she showed the site to one of her 50+ friends at the library, who is now a "devotee" of the site. She checks a few times a week, I'm told.



Cute, right?



So, Hi Grandma and Hi Lynn, is it? I am flaky, I forget :)
Hey, there are photos of graduation-related celebrations in the cam directory. I will write about it later today, most likely :)



Happy Summer, everyone!

Monday, June 19, 2000

I finally got my new cell phone.



So, in addition to leaving ureach voicemail at 877.3786060 x 832 you can also send me text messages! The number is 732.310.9219.
This is so gross:



"Britney Spears will make her film debut alongside her boyfriend Justin Timberlake from NSYNC. The film, which is said to be similar to The Bodyguard in which diva Whitney Houston starred with Kevin Costner, will also star all the other boys from NSYNC. Producers are hoping that the pairing of the princess of teen pop with the phenomenally popular boy band will secure a hit and that the on screen chemistry between Britney and Justin will be a match for the legendary pairing of Bogart and Bacall."



So gross!

I'm leaving for home in about an hour and a half. My brother is graduating from high school tomorrow. This makes me feel very ... strange.
I am in a weird mood today, as shown in this email:



I have been really silly allday, Steph just called me out.



I was on the phone with INtel and she was all you're really hyper today and I said, "Well, I had a centrum and a vitmain C tablet and a can of ensure," then I started laughing hysterically and couldn't stop.



I have begun a world-wide initiative to have people start saing TOOSH instead of TOUCHE. like douche. you know?



OK.

_

T.J. DeGroat

Sometimes I just do the cutest things ever.
Hi Benjamin.



Leah, who is setting up our West Coast office in San Francisco, is here this week. She is super cool and this new office is another reason why I should think hard about staying with the company.
Good morning!



Can I go back to sleep yet?



No!



Ok.

Sunday, June 18, 2000

I just keep thinking about how much goes on that never makes it into the blog or the journal. There is so much of me that you never get a chance to see...and that's good, that's great. But it can be really negative as well.



I don't know. I'm ubiex on AIM, tj@vignette.org. If you're curious, ask me.

Saturday, June 17, 2000

I am having a party tonight...the night before Father's Day (like I even knew), on a weekend full of graduation parties. Mine is going to suck. Not even all of the roommates will be here. I want to stay in my room all night and ignore the knocks on the door.



Photos for you: http://vignette.org/images/cam/61700/

Thursday, June 15, 2000

This is the difference between my healthy enjoyment of Britney Spears and a very unhealthy obsession.
This is crack. The headline is: Ouch! Boys Lose Too Much in Circumcision Slip.



OUCH?! Not quite.

Wednesday, June 14, 2000

Ben Jenkins is on crack.



Yes, no?
Will TJ become a dotcom.dropout? Tune in next time ...
Daily news meeting. I was not thrilled when Luke, our CEO, looked at me and suggested I go to the news stand by the train station in Bound Brook to pick up extra copies of Black Enterprise, which is chock full of stories that are of interest to us. I was a lot happier, though, when he told me to take a few people to lunch while I’m out and expense it.



I followed him into his office after the meeting so he could give me cash. After he handed over $60 he asked me about school. He thought I was going to be graduating next year, but when he found out I’d be a junior he asked how many credits I was taking and if I was on scholarship or if my parents paid for school. Was planning on staying at the internship, he asked? I told him the plan was to continue on a (very) part-time basis. But in contrast to what I’ve told everyone here, I really can’t balance Targum, this and school, so I’ll have to make a decision. It has always been Targum, the sense of family and the experience I’ve gained there would be difficult to give up. But the decision just became a lot more difficult.



Luke started talking about the future of this company, that we’ve all developed something really profitable that can be sold in the future, and there are other prospects for us. A few days ago I had heard of profit sharing/stock options for employees. Luke told me long-term interns would be included in that. He told me that before the end of the summer I should sit down with him and Foulis to discuss ways to at least partially pay tuition, which is crazy cool but not shocking since they’re most likely paying for two employees to go to grad school. He also said, although I was confused at this part, that he wants to give a year’s salary as a bonus to employees after three years (I guess because there’s such a high turnaround rate here and at dot coms in general).



Interesting, to say the least.

Tuesday, June 13, 2000

I'm working on setting up my first sponsor story:



Diversity is becoming the bottom line in corporate America not only because companies want to recruit the best of the best, but also because their suppliers and customers are more diverse than ever. This is especially true in California, where the California State Automobile Association is making diversity one of its top priorities.
So, the company of an executive I profiled emailed the CEO about prices for obtaining a reprint.



Awesome.

Monday, June 12, 2000

OK, I went and took that site's poll and read some comments.



NAACP = NIGGERS, ALLIGATORS,APES, COONS & POSSUMS!



Isn't that a great way to represent your Southern heritage? Way to go!
Oh God, this website just looks so evil.
Did you guys watch the MTV Movie awards? Besides Sarah Jessica Parker’s crazy wardrobe changes and cute cute cuteness, there were some very funny bits, including the Bruce Vilanche take-off, which I laughed about for close to five minutes during lunch.



“What do you call that, missy?”

“A Kit-Kat Bar.”

“Well break me off a piece of that – oh, my, that’s it! Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that breakthrough male performaannnnnnnnce.”

From Garbage singer Shirley Manson's online diary:



The enemy is not Britney. It's Christina Aguilera. (Because she takes herself so seriously, fakes modesty and actually believes she is as ground breaking as Madonna). Her and that Vitamin C opportunist with that hideous Graduation Song. Give me a @#%$ing break.

News meeting. Not your typical Monding morning droll.



After we discussed the potential news stories we'd come across, Foulis started talking about the business side, which randomly led him into stories about Fleet Street in London, how cut-throat and incredibly stressful everything was during the 80s when he worked there. These were serious war stories, complete with ex-boxers throwing phones out of windows after a bad presentation and bosses literally screaming at employees in public for not selling enough. The coolest part was that he became more and more affected in terms of accent as he told the story, slipping feckin' and bloody into the sentences.



Suddenly the men in the room started pumping their fists and yelling!!! as the women sat with their arms crossed. "Let's do it!" I shouted as we left the meeting, ready to do battle.



Also, I normally draw colorful things and write phrases like, "It's a sunshine day!" on the white board before the meeting. Today I didn't feel like it and they noticed. Aw. Cute.

Sunday, June 11, 2000

"Have you found something to eat?"



"Yes." I say.



She says nothing and I say nothing and we just look at each other for about five seconds. It is a brief, but completely intentional and succesful moment of awkward silence. G. makes a noise and I break our staring contest and glance over at him and make a "why do you exist?" face.
with the boisterous buzz of the machines and a smile so pure...



so there's a time to be a silly and a time to be funny and ridiculous and sometimes i go too far and sometimes i want to be just one and sometimes i want to be cute forever and snuggle and lay on my side and sometimes i want to make myself cry because i haven't in so long i forget what it's like and sometimes i want to drop it all and follow this road to where it is and where you are but i'm not that brave and sometimes i push and cross the line and step over the boundary to that place where one wrong move or one misinterpreted glance can destroy everything forever but not that itch that suddenly appeared to the left as if it were a reminder that there's something else to think about like what's going on with the chip of faded ivory that taunts y a veces es dificil seguir hablando sobre la vida que es gilipollas pero a la misma vez es maravillosa también porque nunca estoy seguro lo que tendré que hacer y el misterio es lo más interesante pero i go to that place where it's all flimsy metaphors and second languages because there's a better chance that i will tell you what i mean.



i mean:



my mom bought another air conditioner and gave one we had to me so i can go home tonight and lay under the warmth and security of my black blanket and start remembering my dreams.



the dreams, they aren't about you anymore, i don't think they ever were, not the night-time dreams, at least. i falter and struggle to balance here because i don't know whether i really want to lose this but i know i do want to escape your mythology because i've read the metamorphoses and i've read franco american dreams and i choose julie taylor's realism over ovid's attempts to explain away what was already known.



before you work it and own it, work yourself and own your fucking self. otherwise, it's all bullshit.

Saturday, June 10, 2000

Shutup and bite the pillow.
Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.
Wonderful. A conference with free food, free gifts and dynamic speakers, a short work day, a cheap concert by an excellent folk singer, catching up with a massive group of high school friends, half of whom I hadn't seen since graduation, and a quintessential Jersey diner experience.



But *you* are on my shit list.
Blogs are like television commercials.

Friday, June 9, 2000

I'm sitting at work, listening to a terrible dance remix of that cheezy "Forever Young" song -- I really wish I never ever had to hear this song ever again -- and deciding whether or not to put these little spikes onto my shoes. Eva gave them to me last night. They used to be on a bracelet she had. I remember in high school people used to take these spikes and put them through the little shoelace holes on their Converse. And damn, that was sooo cooool. I also thought about going and getting those little sockets they can surgically implant in your head so you can put metal spikes in them and have them stick out of your head. I decided against that because I like to comb.

Thursday, June 8, 2000

By T.J. DEGROAT

©2000 My Internship

June 8, 2000



Most people leave the couch only during commercial breaks to avoid missing their favorite shows. During the Super Bowl, however, the creative, expensive spots often are the main event.



So it’s surprising that only 17 of the 69 commercials aired during the last Super Bowl offered closed-captioning, ignoring a consumer group of 24 million hearing-impaired people in the United States, according to Captions.com, a watchdog Web site for the hearing impaired.



Captioning is the last step of the video production process, so some companies say it is possible to forget the step or run out of time.



"Our intent is to make our advertising available to everyone out there and it is policy to close caption commercials," said Steve Pacheco, manager of advertising for FedEx, one of the companies without closed captions.



Pacheco said last-minute work by BBDO Worldwide, which represents FedEx, to the final product left no time to create captions. "Everyone is literally running around to finish commercials until the 11th hour," he said.



Karen O’Conner, director of sales and marketing for the National Captioning Institute, said timing should not be a problem.



The Vienna, Va.-based NCI, a company that creates captions for television programs, established offices in New York City and in Burbank, Calif. to meet the needs of the entertainment industry. Employees can caption a commercial in two hours or less.



"We put procedures in place to get them in and get them out fast," O’Conner said. "One thing about commercial production is it’s fast."



Captioning is prevalent in the video-production industry now, with 100 percent of TVs projected o have captioning capabilities by 2001, according to the NCI. "Production people know about it and probably wouldn’t forget," O’Conner said.



The brevity of the process, added to the low cost of about $300 to caption 30-second commercial, makes captioning a smart business move, O’Conner said.



Many hearing-impaired people consider captions important when they choose which products to buy. About 66 percent of hearing-impaired TV viewers buy products that have captioned commercials and 35 percent switch brands, according to the NCI.



"They do watch the captioned commercials and they do switch brands and buy products from advertisers that cater to their needs," O’Conner said.

Emaciated and Emancipated!
That got me thinking that I might want to make some Coke. I'll make a party out of it.
Wow... that does explain everything. I prefer Coke. With a slice of lemon.
Oh wow. REVELATION. I just learned what may very well be the most significant thing of my life:



Coke is vanilla based, while Pepsi is lemon based.



It explains everything!!!
I haven't done much today. Called a few people about an interesting story I'm writing about captioning in commercials.



The fun thing though was securing a press pass to a conference tomorrow by 100 Black Men. Congressmen, presidents of national organizations and Black celebrities will be there, along with me. Field Trip! And the best part is that I can go home, since it's only about 25 minutes from Allendale, after the conference to do laundry and *stuff*
By T.J. DEGROAT

©2000 My internship

June 8, 2000



Total college enrollment will swell by 19 percent, or 2.6 million students, over the next 15 years. African-American, Hispanic and Asian-American students will comprise 80 percent of that growth, according to a study released by the Educational Testing Service.



Between 1995 and 2015, Hispanic-Americans will become the largest minority group enrolled in higher education, growing from 11 percent to 15 percent. The Asian-American student population will surge from 5 percent to 8 percent, while African-American enrollment will remain at 13 percent.



The amount of white college students will decrease to 63 percent of the total by 2015. They will become a minority on campuses in California, the District of Columbia, Hawaii and New Mexico by then, according to the May study, "Crossing the Great Divide: Can We Achieve Equity When Generation Y Goes To College?"



"This is a very important survey and it contains very good news in terms of enrollment of students of color," said Janetta Hammock, public-affairs officer for the American Council on Education. "Demographic data shows the numbers will continue to increase."



"The fact that so many more minority students are opting for college is great news and underscores minority families’ dedication to educating their children," said Sonia Hernandez, deputy superintendent for curriculum and instruction of the California Department of Education.



But Hernandez said the study’s findings raise questions about how the educational system will accommodate the rising number of minority college students.



"I am very worried that we could fail these children," she said. "If history is any guide, many states will be tempted to rely on tuition hikes to cover the costs of all these new students. But given the demographics of who the new students are, tuition hikes are a risky and inadequate response."



Hernandez said many of these students are the first in their families to attend college, and many come from families with limited incomes. "Tuition hikes could turn them away and, in the long run, jeopardize the nation’s economic growth."



Besides the financial aspect, Hammock said universities must meet the challenge to keep minorities in college through graduation. "We need to make sure once we get these students to campuses we can keep them here through graduation and into graduate school," she said.



Adding to the cause for concern, the study also shows the number of African Americans and Hispanics in higher education is actually decreasing in proportion to population growth between 1995 and 2015.



The authors of the study urged the government to continue promoting education among minorities. "We need to be careful that the growing number of minority students ready for college don’t give us a false sense that we have achieved our diversity goals," author Richard Fry said.



A May study by New York’s Public Agenda, found that 87 percent of parents say college education has become as important as a high-school diploma used to be.



College is especially important to minorities, with 65 percent of Hispanic parents and 47 percent of African-American parents agreeing that college the most important component of success. Only 33 percent of white parents and 35 percent of the public agreed.



The increase in college enrollment among minorities will benefit the country economically, the authors said.



"Encouraging more minority enrollment on the nation’s campuses will translate into a more diverse professional workforce," the study finds. "This, in turn is very likely to strengthen the United States’ ability to compete in a global economy."
The UN is hosting a global women's conference, so there is a ton of media attention about women's issues. I think this is so important because a lot of issues are either in the dark or less severe in this country, but things like this occur all the time. Imagine a family so poor living in a country with such an underdeveloped economy that parents are literally pushing their children into prostitution.

Wednesday, June 7, 2000

It's an awkward moment when someone accidentally mumbles "yes" to the "do you need change?" question and it is misheard as "we're set."



Sorry, no, you don't get a $14 tip tonight.
Evidence: TJ is friends with Ben Jenkins.

Conclusion: TJ has bad taste.



And, probably you actually hit the post button at 3:33:33 but it took those 4 seconds for Blogger to record the time. Hmmm.
Evidence: TJ really likes Britney Spears and BB Mak.

Conclusion: TJ has bad taste.

Mega-Super-Conclusion: Iron Chef Rules.



Also, 3:33:33 AM is a cool time to be awake and blogging. Unfortunately I missed it by 4 seconds.

In addition, Ben, you should not be blogging at 3:33 a.m. Go to sleep!
Also, Iron Chef looks insanely retarded, from the clips I've seen.



But, Katie Brown, Lifetime's Martha Stewart knock-off, while not just a chef, is the bomb.
"In other words, Eminem is, uh, keeping it real. So real, in fact, that he's beyond fake: I mean, what other rapper would prove his street cred by calling out boy-girl groups as "sissy" music? Would Jay-Z even bother griping about 'N Sync? Christina Aguilera? Carson friggin' Daly? But "The Marshall Mathers LP" is the first hip-hop album to assume universal attention -- not just from hip-hop fans, not just from under-20s, not just from media watchhounds, but from the American culture at large -- and it relishes the attention, even as it recoils from it."
I'm glad someone shares my opinion about rapper Eminem. The thing that has always bothered me about him is that he seems so ingenuine in his loathing. He disses coutless pop stars and, like Rocker, spews slurs against numerous ethnic and racial groups, yet he's praised by critics as the heir to the rap throne.



I'll take Britney's "outrageous" sex over Eminems lame disses any day.
One of my favourite shows... actually my favourite show on television, the show that makes me really really really want to buy cable, the show that I'll go over to my parent's to watch, the show that is the best, is Iron Chef. If you've never seen it, imagine a fast-paced cooking competition complete with sports-like side commentary and a panel of judges. Each episode consists of a challenger facing off against one of the "Iron Chefs." A special ingredient is selected and the two opponents have one hour to prepare the most fabulous dishes they can. It was produced in Japan and now airs on The Food Network in the US dubbed into English. If you have never seen this show, please, make an effort to.



Anyway, just yesterday, the dumb people who produce the show sent a cease and desist order to Iron Chef fan sites telling them to yank their sites. I find this incredibly irritating.
Unwanted sexual advances by a close friend who just wants to "fool around" can easily be avoided by explaning about your rash. Be sure to excuse yourself every 20 minutes or so to "apply ointment."

Tuesday, June 6, 2000

Sick of CNN and BBC?



George Curry, the first African-American president(?) of the Association of Managine Editors, has a beyond-extensive list of links to news-related sites.
So, she lost. Big whoopdie freaking doo. It's not like I *care* or anything.



Ben Jenkins, why do you post such lies?
Oh my God. Monica Seles is battling Mary Pierce *right now* at the French Open. This is so crazy nervewracking. I have the little IBM scorboard on the computer and I'm going insane. I don't think I'll be able to eat the bagel Jill just went out (in the pouring rain) to get for me. Ah!!!



In other news...

"Comic Margaret Cho, who rather than lesbian, gay or bisexual chooses to identify as a "slut," was honored with GLAAD's first-ever Golden Gate Award..."

How funny is she? Very!

Monday, June 5, 2000

Chat LIVE with TJ!



Join the AOL Instant Messenger Britney Spears Hot Chat now!
"I like your license plate!" the 40-some year old woman said to me at the stop light. "Thanks," I say. I look away and turn the stereo (Talking Heads, 12x12) back up loud and continue dancing and driving to brunch.
I am all smiles now. I think I figured out why I was annoyed:



I hadn't celebrated National Iced Tea Month yet. :)
Don't worry. I am wearing yellow today.
OK, I am in a bad mood. This may be why:



1. My shirt is too big.

2. I have a splinter in my foot that is really starting to bother me.

3. I am sleepy.

4. There are few smiley people in the office today.

5. The Mercedes lady who always changes things in our stories needs to change a few things in an article I wrote.

6. I have many things to work on but nothing interests me at all.

7. Lauren still is not moved into the apartment.

8. The apartment in general looks shitty.

9. Linda’s presence.

10. Jeremy watches too much TV.

11. I get a lot of ridiculous email.

12. I am hungry. Carnation Instant Breakfast is not cutting it.

13. Monica Seles advanced to the quarterfinals of the French Open, but has to play Pierce tomorrow, which could be very, very bad.

14. I couldn’t care less about e-commerce suppliers but it’s becoming my expertise? What is that?

15. This website is very ugly and the content is lame.

Email to me today:



"I imagine you being annoyed/giddy all the time. That is your personality, among other things."



I'm so tired of thinking about the debacle that was the O.J. Simpson court case. All of these after-shocks are supposed to be surprising?
Hi.

Friday, June 2, 2000

More French Open news.



Martina the 1st won her first match after a 6-year absence at the tournament.



And Monica, looking as fit as she has in a long while destroyed her opponent again. Yay!



I just wrote my first professional obituary...about Tito Puente. Kind of cool, in a totally morbid way.

Thursday, June 1, 2000

Crazy things are happening at the French Open. I can understand Pete Sampras losing in the first round, because he's never been comfortable on clay, and I can deal with Lindsay Davenport losing, despite her dominance lately, because she's uncomfortable as well, but Andre Agassi?! He hasn't had an amazing year, but what is the world coming to?



On the other hand, my girlfriend Monica Seles, destroyed her second-round opponent 6-0, 6-1.
The Alabama State Legislature's homepage is quite interesting.



I was at the page because I'm writing a short short short story about their very smart decision to make Columbus Day a joint holiday with American Indian Heritage Day. Columbus' "discovery" of America has always been an insane concept to me.
"we have to laugh to keep ourselves from crying sometimes"



I totally thought of the Indigo Girls' 1200 Curfews CD, I think it was in "least COmplicated" that she said that line, describing her first little boyfriend in grade school.



Hi Ben. Hi everyone. I am sore.