This Chronicle story about tonight's 5.6 magnitude earthquake (the biggest I've ever felt - it was like riding a wave), is total lollerskatez. Shall I count the ways?

1. "I thought I was going to die," said Audi Andaya, 24, of San Jose, was working in a Subway sandwich store in the Eastridge Mall in east San Jose when the earthquake hit. "Dust started flying from the ceiling. It came down like smoke. It was like it was snowing.

"I thought, 'I don't want to die young. I don't want to die like this.' "

I know I was farther away than she was, but DAMN girl! This reporter found a winner.

2. In San Francisco's Westwood Park neighborhood near City College, the quake rattled Greg Clinton.

Westwood Park neighborhood? For realsies?

3. A clerk at Kwik and Convenient in Mipitas, who said his name is Suki Suki, said not much was damaged - except his psyche.

SUKI SUKI?

I often say things solely to shock people. When it comes to Kathleen, though, the game reaches another level. For example, today I was only slightly bothered by my Peet's coffee (I don't understand why the line is always out the door; that coffee is not good). Yet instead of telling Kathleen my coffee was gross, I said, "My coffee tastes like [name removed]'s taint smells." Totally unnecessary, but we both love it. My day isn't complete until Kathleen calls me a "sick fuck." And vice-versa.

Jesús gets loud when he's drunk. He doesn't realize this. And he'll argue with me when I point out that he's being loud. That causes him to become even louder. I think it's cute. It makes me chuckle, which prompts him to sheepishly half-smile and ask why I'm laughing at him (or sometimes, "Por qué te ries de mí?"). I think that's cute, too.

I'm currently obsessed with Jesse & Joy, a brother-and-sister duo from Mexico City whose single "Yo No Quiero" I heard on the radio nonstop when I was in Ensenada (made my poor mom listen to the local radio during our drives). I recently heard another of their songs on the Premios MTV. Apparently Joy's English is perfect and the group has put out an English-language version of "Espacio Sideral." Can't wait til I hear the studio version.

And now, a[n explicit] video: