Ay, |qué fatal! Mis últimas horas en Madrid han llegado...

The last day! I woke up later than I wanted to, but it´s been jam-packed full of fun. Walking through Retiro and enjoying the perfect daytime weather, finding more photo inspiration, hitting the Corte Inglés one last time for some turrones to bring home and some albóndigas to inhale, another impressive museum (the Thyssen), the nicest sunset I´ve experienced since I´ve been here, one last batch of churros (just enough this time), a string quartet that sounded like a CD and hippies jamming by the lake. To name a few. I also learned yet another lesson about cómo se hace en Madrid, this time en cuanto a los números de los edificios. Fair enough.

Today´s been great but last night was kinda ... horrific. My intercambio had an insane accent. Born and raised in Madrid but I seriously couldn´t understand 50% of what he said. He was a low-talker, a mumbler and had the aforementioned ridiculous accent that prevented him from pronouncing half of the sounds in the Spanish language. Joderrrrrr. But still, I got to hit up some of the Santa Ana Plaza tapas bars and a few of the spots in Chueca I had not visited. So, worth it, overall. Yes? Yes.

Tomorrow morning my flight leaves at 11 a.m. I get back to SF at 9:30 p.m. local time. There is a 9-hour time difference. That is one long day of travelling.

Como se dice en España, OOF.

Te Presento a Clara
Originally uploaded by tjdee

Today´s intercambio partner. She was lovely. We had a typical 2-hour lunch at a Caribbean/Spanish place, where I had my first cocido completo. It´s a soup full of chicken, sausage, pork etc. They serve you the broth with noodles first and then everything that was in the broth as the second plate. I had pears cooked in wine and a café con leche for dessert. As a certain Food Network personality would say, ay, qué rico!

As my Spanish was much stronger than her English, we spoke a lot of Spanish at first, but I think it all evened out. I helped clarify the age thing for her -- in Spanish you say "tengo 27 años" and someone learning English would translate that word for word, sounding really awkward. She helped me with some Spain-specific slang. She also freaked me out a little by appearing eerily similar to me cousin Suzanne at times.

Bueno, tío, tengo que irme. Hasta la próxima vez.

Vírgin y Cristo
Originally uploaded by tjdee

Damn, the German baby Jesus was kinda ugly. Just sayin´.

Thoughts re: the language school - Super nearby is a Pans & Company, which I don´t enjoy as a lunch option but which has a side area that sells café y panes dulces in the morning. Lovely.

The school, inHispania, is located at the bottom of the street where all the hookers congregate. They´re more toward the top, so I don´t encounter them while going to or leaving the school, but it´s nice to know they´re there. Aw.

Language classes are always dominated by girls. I´m the only guy in mine (there are six of us total) and I was always one of few guys in my college classes.

My classmates are from Turkey-Turkia, France-Francia, Italy-Italia and Germany-Alemania. It´s fascinating to hear their different Spanish accents. They all sound so much like where they´re from when they speak Spanish - except the Turkish chick. I don´t hear enough Turkish in my daily life to pick out that accent.

I seem to have won them over today. The teacher was trying to tell the Turkish girl how to say ¨choke¨ and mentioned the famous W-choking-on-a-pretzel incident. She looked at us oddly as she tried to pronounce George W. Bush with her pretty thick Spanish accent. I told her she didn´t need to bother, she could just call him dickhead (or asshole, whatever - le dije, "le puedes llamar el hijo de puta, el nombre no es necesario). They sure loved that. I´m just doing my part to repair our battered reputation overseas.

Ugh. I don´t do laundromats. So having to use one here is insane and horrifying. It was my choice - I wanted to limit my stuff to carry-on, but ay! At least there´s a computer here.

In other news, today was my first day of lessons at inHispania language school. I forgot how scary it is to be called on to complete a grammar exercise. Madre mía. I´m not sure how much help one week of classes will be but at least it forces me to use my Spanish a little more than I have been (not that I haven´t been hablando español, pero tú sabes).

Near the Gate
Originally uploaded by tjdee

The point of my trip is to kick it in Madrid for two full weeks, to really soak in this one city. That said, I thought it would be stupid to totally ignore the nearby attractions, so I wanted to choose one place to visit for a day. There are several options within a two hour train or bus ride: Segovia, Ávila, El Escorial and Toledo. I kept going back and forth but finally settled on Toledo, in large part because I wanted to experience Europe´s high-speed trains and this is the only really day trip-friendly place you can get to on one of those trains.

After a 25-minute trip (55 miles) in a super comfy tourist-class coach, I arrived at the pretty train station, but faced an annoying 30-minute mostly uphill climb to get to the old city walls and up to the main plaza. I could have taken a bus but I chose to walk it. From Plaza Zocódover, I headed to the gorgeous Cathedral, where I surprisingly was able to take a ton of photos of beautiful art by El Greco. From there I wandered around the painful stone streets until I found one of the city´s synagogues, which is now the National Museum of Sephardic Jews. It was super interesting but by the end of the walkthrough my feet were in soooo much pain. Damn stone streets. They´re beautiful but a serious pain.

I hit some tapas bars and bought some of the city´s famous mazapán before walking back down toward the train station - well, not toward it at first. I got seriously lost, but luckily had given myself plenty of time to get there.

Today´s been cool but I had another random runin, this time with about 50 police officers getting ready to deal with a HUGE group of people marching through the city to protest ETA. More on that here.

Mega Hip Hotel Around the Corner
Originally uploaded by tjdee

Up relatively early to grab a café con leche and pastry and some Internet time before getting ready for the high-speed train to Toledo. As I rounded the corner to the nearest plaza, I saw dozens of girls standing outside the entrance of the far nicer and more expensive hotel across the way. After walking around them for a couple of minutes I realized Mexican supergroup RBD is staying here (a girl was wearing a Mexican flag that said "Estados Unidos de RBD" on it). El último adiós to Fernando Fernán Gómez across the plaza at the Teatro and now RBD. Action-packed plaza!

Last night´s intercambio, over cañas at a bar in the Puerta del Sol, was helpful but weird. They´re weird by nature - two strangers meet and ask those strange first-encounter questions while struggling through each other´s languages. Anyway, the freak in me was pleased that my Spanish was much better than her English, but I know I still have lots of work to do to command the language and, more importantly, feel super comfortable talking to native-speakers. We´re planning to meet again next week after I´ve had a few days of my intensive classes, so hopefully I´ll see a bit of improvement. And hopefully we´ll have something to talk about.

Off to Toledo. Lots of pictures of medieval stuff to come.

Few things went as planned this morning. I headed out of the hostal at a few minutes before 9 and walked toward Kilómetro Cero, where I was supposed to meet my first ever intercambio partner. Halfway there I realized something: When she said to meet at 9, she probably meant 9 at night. I waited in the freezing cold for 20 minutes anyway and sure enough she never show up. 9 tonight it is. (Duh - 9 is pre-dinner here, of course she meant 9 at night).

While chilling in the room I saw on Telemadrid that the famous writer, director and actor Fernando Fernán Gómez (best known internationally for Belle Epoque) had died and the Teatro Real was holding a special memorial for him in just a few minutes. I thought about heading over there but decided against it. Turns out, the Teatro Real is literally around the corner from the hostal and I inadvertently walked right toward the swarm of TV cameras and interviewers.

Since then I´ve been relaxing in the Parque del Buen Retiro dining at the counter of the Corte Inglés (albóndigas, not bad). And now I´m all over Flickr - although it´s taking forever to upload stuff here. Descriptions probably won´t be done until I return, but enjoy the images.

I didn´t go to that intercambio last night but I did want a low key tapeo-ish experience, so I found a place really close to my hostal, La Casa del Abuelo, and had some super good sweet red wine. I was back at the hostal by midnight, when I stuffed my ears full of foam and kicked jetlag´s ass, sleeping until 9:30ish.

This morning I hit some of the major sights: the Palacio Real (didn´t go in - saving that for tomorrow´s rain) and the construction-filled Plaza Mayor. But the best part of the day definitely was dunking those long, thin churros into that rich chocolate drink at Chocolatería San Gines. I´ve tried to make this drink at home with mix, but always wound up having to dump it. The real deal is awesome.

When my hour here is up, I think I´m gonna check out a local chain of sandwich shops Jesús mentioned. Perhaps a bocadillo de chorizo?

So, I´m in Spain for two weeks. The flights from SF to NYC and then from NYC to Madrid were ... long. But I lucked out and had an empty middle seat each way. Empty or not, I´m just not feeling the 12 hours of flying in one day. I limited myself to about a 90-minute nap in my private (tiny, no-frills) room at the (tiny, no-frills but cheap -- for an euro establishment) hostal (not hostel). I´m hurting right now but I hope it pays off when I wake up tomorrow at, ojalà, a decent hour.

It´s rainy today and my socks and bags when soaked when I found the Hostal Prado, but I´m out and about, momentarily hanging out in a 1€/hour Internet cafe (really a locutorio) just off the Puerta del Sol. In a few minutes I´ll head out past the Tío Pepe sign to the famous Corte Inglés department store to browse. Then some food, some Televisión Española, some sock-drying and, probably, the weekly language exchange (intercambio) at the Irish pub that just happens to be one block from the hostal. I don´t know how good my Spanish will be toward the end of this long-ass day, but I think I´m gonna give it a go. Speaking of which, me voy.

New Year's Eve is a strange day. For a lot of people, it's a nuisance. There's so much build-up, so much money spent on outfits and party tickets, so much stress related to planning, getting friends with different opinions to come together. And in the end, usually, it's a disappointing evening that leaves you exhausted and dreading that return to the office on January 2.

I think everyone experiences that one perfect NYE. I had mine in Chico, Calif., of all places. I think/hope I also got my worst NYE out of the way. In a way, I'm thankful to have experienced NYE of 2005 because it takes the pressure off of future December 31sts. Last year, for example, was spent with one new friend and two of her pals, having burgers at a great diner, toasting at a Korean dive bar and relaxing at a pub before taking a bus back to her apartment. It was pretty typical for NYE: maybe one too many drinks, one too many $20 bills spent and, sadly, no kiss. But compared with the previous year's insanity, it was, well, lovely.

All that said, I am very much looking forward to this NYE. After talking about possible trips to Vegas and Cabo, I've settled on NYC. Jesús is coming with me, so I'll have someone to kiss, and I get to introduce him to some of the most important people in my life (something he's as excited as me about). I'm quite certain NYE of 2007 won't be ordinary or lackluster, but even if it is, you better believe I'll take it over the alternative.

This Chronicle story about tonight's 5.6 magnitude earthquake (the biggest I've ever felt - it was like riding a wave), is total lollerskatez. Shall I count the ways?

1. "I thought I was going to die," said Audi Andaya, 24, of San Jose, was working in a Subway sandwich store in the Eastridge Mall in east San Jose when the earthquake hit. "Dust started flying from the ceiling. It came down like smoke. It was like it was snowing.

"I thought, 'I don't want to die young. I don't want to die like this.' "

I know I was farther away than she was, but DAMN girl! This reporter found a winner.

2. In San Francisco's Westwood Park neighborhood near City College, the quake rattled Greg Clinton.

Westwood Park neighborhood? For realsies?

3. A clerk at Kwik and Convenient in Mipitas, who said his name is Suki Suki, said not much was damaged - except his psyche.

SUKI SUKI?

I often say things solely to shock people. When it comes to Kathleen, though, the game reaches another level. For example, today I was only slightly bothered by my Peet's coffee (I don't understand why the line is always out the door; that coffee is not good). Yet instead of telling Kathleen my coffee was gross, I said, "My coffee tastes like [name removed]'s taint smells." Totally unnecessary, but we both love it. My day isn't complete until Kathleen calls me a "sick fuck." And vice-versa.

Jesús gets loud when he's drunk. He doesn't realize this. And he'll argue with me when I point out that he's being loud. That causes him to become even louder. I think it's cute. It makes me chuckle, which prompts him to sheepishly half-smile and ask why I'm laughing at him (or sometimes, "Por qué te ries de mí?"). I think that's cute, too.

I'm currently obsessed with Jesse & Joy, a brother-and-sister duo from Mexico City whose single "Yo No Quiero" I heard on the radio nonstop when I was in Ensenada (made my poor mom listen to the local radio during our drives). I recently heard another of their songs on the Premios MTV. Apparently Joy's English is perfect and the group has put out an English-language version of "Espacio Sideral." Can't wait til I hear the studio version.

And now, a[n explicit] video:

Three Months Later

Grandpa and Gigi
Originally uploaded by tjdee

My grandfather often tried to discuss heavy topics with me because he thought I was a smarty. I don't know if his persistence is a testament to his disinterest in reality or my acting abilities, but he kept trying to engage me in conversations about, oh, the latest HIGHLARIOUS happenings on Hardball. He also saved newspaper clippings for me related to my work that I would inevitably receive weeks after they were cut out and, usually, after I had read them online.

My favorite grandpa moment was also the most baffling. While living in the Waldwick house, he pulled me aside and told me he had a plan to restructure the U.S. government. He pulled out a chart to illustrate his grand redesign. This quickly became my go-to anecdote when discussing my grandfather.

I will always remember his unique handwriting, his penchant for hard pretzels dipped in margarine and, somewhat surprisingly, his acceptance of me.

When I left for California (the first time), he cornered me outside, where we had a pretty awkward but thankfully brief conversation. Here I was, leaving college a year early and moving 3,000 miles away to be closer to my boyfriend. And all my 70-something grandfather wanted me to say was: good for me for doing what I thought I needed to do.

Sure, he was difficult, especially when it came to his relationships with his five children. But he was, at the end of the day, a good man. And that's just about the best a man can hope to be.

Frida's House!

Frida's House!
Originally uploaded by tjdee

Kathleen, Jésus and I are back from Mexico City. We went in large part to see the special exhibitions honoring the 100th anniversary of Frida Kahlo's birth. This is her family home and official museum in Coyoacan, part of the Distrito Federal, but there also were items on display at Palacio de las Bellas Artes in the city center.

Frida's house featured a crazy long line and an unexpected run-in with someone from K's past. ¡Muy extraño!

More photos/vignettes/videos to come.

Some scenes from Pink Saturday:

Guns! Bullets!

Guns! Bullets!
Originally uploaded by tjdee

I opted to shoot the hostage, of course.

This was scary but fun. Our teacher told us every one of his students hit the bull's eye on their first or second practice shot and, true to form, we all did.

The craziest thing: The way the gun recoils always had me freaking out about not shooting straight and missing the target (you can only miss the sheet once - twice and you're asked to leave) but I never missed. Weird.

Confabs Corto y Bilingue:

Yikes

Yikes
Originally uploaded by tjdee

KC's tour drama makes me CRAZY.

A conversation between me and Ben, who you should know attended an "alternative" high school:

Monday, June 11, 2007 3:31

T.J.
3:31
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=e26_1181383376&c=1

Ben
3:32
cute

T.J.
3:33
you know they're total losers in school, though.

Ben
3:33
...
3:33
good job, Tj.

T.J.
3:33
i'm just saying.

Ben
3:34
losers according to who?

T.J.
3:34
BENJAMIN
3:34
they are kinda cool
3:34
but they are very likely big freaks in hs.
3:34
and it's "according to whom."

Ben
3:35
they wouldn't be freaks in my high school.

T.J.
3:35
duh
3:36
they would be the polyamorous bisexual prom court at your high school -- if only your hs had a prom.

I love this. I love capturing random moments, I love the Spanish dig, I love the playing to the camera in the very beginning and I especially love the very, very end.

Natasha, Jesús, Me

Natasha, Jesús, Me
Originally uploaded by tjdee

I love this photo. Good times were had on Saturday night. Also on Sunday afternoon. Photos from Redwood City (!) to come.

Another confabulous discussion, this time between moi and official BFF Lauren M. Duffy:

A T.J. And Lauren Classic Moment

Some insight into my relationship with my BFF:

Speech

So Pretty
Originally uploaded by tjdee.

Because I think this should be part of the Internets, here is my mom's (unedited) reading from my grandma's memorial service:

Thank you all for joining us today to remember my Mom. I think she would be in awe by the wonderful turnout. I can actually hear her saying “Oh my, how lovely!”

I’m sure every person here today could share something about Mom that I either didn’t know or that would make me smile. I’d like to give all of you just a few glimpses of Mom from my perspective.

Mom wasn’t a large person but you may have noticed that she had a rather big head that thankfully looked great in a bandanna, because it was the rare occasion a beach hat was found to fit it. Her ears were not dainty either but she also had an even bigger heart which I think balanced things out nicely.

As is the case with most mothers and daughters, we had our share of ups and downs. We’ve run the gamut from friends to enemies and everything in between but I always knew she loved me fiercely.

Jane Leonard was a complex person with very simple needs. She never cared about material things. Her riches came not from measurable wealth but from her family. In her eyes we were her greatest accomplishment and her first priority. I know she found it easier to leave us because her five children had finally all found wonderful partners and had children of our own to love.

As we promised her, we will all share her zany legacy of love with those little ones who knew her only briefly and those precious babies yet to come.

Mom has taught me innumerable lessons such as you don’t have to be fashionable to have an unbeatable sense of style. However I think she should be recognized for her longstanding fashion contribution. Yes I mean wearing sneakers with skirts long before yuppies made that same look so popular.

Mom’s relationship with her own mother both during life and after she passed away provides me with invaluable comfort especially during this most challenging time. She showed me that as long as I believe I can keep her alive in my heart she will be here with and for me forever. So while it is so very sad that I’ll never again be with her in person, I know I will always be able to feel her loving support and the warmth of her arms around me.

Mom’s parenting style was unique. She showed me a child could survive on cans of coke and cinnamon raisin toast. She told me that a baby would be alright if you had to leave him crying in a crib for ten minutes in order to keep your sanity. When my children were young and always seemed to be sick she promised me that one day they would both be free of runny noses and coughs and she was right. She taught me that the most important thing to tell your child is “I love you.” She showed me that being a loving parent doesn’t mean being perfect. In fact one of the reasons she was loved so much was not in spite of but because of her many flaws. Her ability to laugh at herself makes it much easier for me to accept my own imperfections. One of the classic Jane mistakes which has provided my family with many laughs is the time she thought she was being sassy by giving her youngest daughter the finger only to be told that the index finger wasn’t the offensive one. I believe her response was Hmmm.

Mom was stubborn, sometimes to a fault. She never did anything halfheartedly and I think she left us much more quickly than any of us expected because once she was as she put it “willing to let her spirit go” in true Mom fashion she completed her last journey with determination few of us posses.

Some of you have never experienced her Irish temper. In her inner circle it was legendary. It even came with an early warning signal the National Weather Service would be envious of. We refer to it as THE TWITCH! Once you saw it, you got out of the path of fury by any means possible. Her anger was usually well deserved; we were not the Brady Bunch children. On those occasions that she overreacted she would typically overcompensate by taking us on shopping sprees or plying us with food containing no nutritional value at all.

Mom was a librarian so I’m sure it comes as no surprise that she loved to read, but long before she pursued that career that suited her so well; she taught me the love of learning and all the sweet serenity of books. Now you may think that because she was an exceptionally intelligent person she would have gravitated towards great literary works and while it’s true she read the entire Great books series before she was 25 and War and Peace twice, she found just as much enjoyment in a trashy historical novel. Just as books gave her joy, comfort and knowledge, the stories she told us over and over again at our request and stories about her do the same for our family.

I don’t know if you realize how competitive Mom was. She passed that trait on to all her children and I doubt any of us comes close to her fierce need to win any card game. As her eldest grandchildren can attest, by the time you were 8 or 9 you were fair game. Any game that included the slapping of hands such as War or Egyptian Rat screw were played with her at great risk to the other players. In fact during one game at the beach she slapped TJ across the face instead of on the hand!

Mom was not the stereotypical Grandma. Yes she loved to hug and kiss her grandchildren but as my son reminded me she didn’t drive like you would expect a grandma to, she quite frankly had a lead foot. Her gifts were not always typical either; I mean how many grandmas buy their 5 year old grandson, Madonna’s “like a Virgin “record?

I’m sure that the first time many of you met Mom you may have thought she was a sweet, sometimes ditzy person. You may not realize the incredible strength and willpower she always possessed. As a young girl she was bedridden for months as a result of rheumatic fever. The day she heard the doctor tell her mother it was time to call the priest to give her last rites, she rolled out of bed onto the floor so she could teach herself to use her legs enough to crawl again. She knew if she could crawl, she could than walk and then she would be able to do anything even if it was by pure guts alone. There have been many times where Mom had to marshal her strength to overcome horrific challenges, like when our house burned down 37 years ago today. Each obstacle just made her stronger. But Mom was human after all and had her breaking points. There was one thing that never failed to rejuvenate her and that was the beach. She didn’t live at the shore but that was where her true home was. The moment she arrived it was as though all her worries and cares were washed away with the tide. She was always a great napper but when she tossed a towel on the sand chaos could run rampant around her, by that I mean many children including nieces and nephews, without disturbing her rest. Her perfect beach day didn’t require the day be sunny and hot, an overcast day was enjoyed just as much especially if it began before the lifeguard arrived, included lunch delivered to her and ended after the lifeguard left for the day.

Of all the many gifts Mom has given me the one I will treasure most is her last one. She asked me to come home to be with her during her illness. I am so grateful for the special time I shared with her, especially the many hours of hand holding and smiles.

I could talk about Mom endlessly and I am sure I will but for know I will end by saying as my son the writer so eloquently put it, She was the bomb!

The last funeral I attended was for a grandmother I barely knew. My next will be for a grandmother I knew very well and loved very much. The one who thought she was being sassy by giving her youngest daughter the finger only to be told that the index finger wasn't the offensive one. The one who said "sugar" instead of "shit." Who bought her five-year-old grandson Madonna's "Like a Virgin" record back in the day.

The cancer was a surprise and very advanced. The final deteroriation was quicker than I could have imagined. I'm glad my last memory is of an ostensibly healthy woman who shared some Kinchley's pizza with me on a frigid evening in February. I'm glad I had 27 years with her. And I'm sorry the babies won't. She was, as they say, the bomb.

In the second edition of Confabs With T.J.(now with its own URL - confabswithtj.com) I talk to SFist.com contributor and FOG Matt Baume about the douchey side of Critical Mass, the insanity that is San Francisco's public transit and ... homeless ass sex.



Originally published on the GUBA Blog!

A TJ & Kate Classic White Board Drawing

A TJ & Kate Classic White Board Drawing
Originally uploaded by lesbodojo.

"This is what's on my 2nd white board right now. Shot out to Kate & TJ!!! p.s. for those of you who can't read the text box, stick figure boy says "Hey gurl, I heart your baby bucket.""

My love of all things Spanish ebbs and flows. Right now, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'm about a 6 on the language-learning but a big 9 on food. I've been to three Spanish places recently and each one had something outstanding. Overall, I like Picaro the best. It's in a neighborhood full of fun bars for some post-sangria imbibing, the restaurant is cute and the albondigas are out-of-this-world good.

Zarzuela, on the top of Russian Hill, has a small, adorable dining room and serves phenomenal chorizo. The sangria is smooth -- oustanding. And Alegrias in the Marina has the best patatas bravas I've ever had. And really good pork skewers. Like, amazingly good. Good enough to make you put up with being in (and getting to) the Marina.

Weird Week

Green Screen!
Originally uploaded by tjdee.

On Thursday I wound up riding BART for 20 minutes without realizing I was sitting right next to Ben. "I never run into people on BART!" I exclaimed when we finally spotted each other while getting off the train.

On Saturday I was at an ATM on Market St. when Greg slid next to me and tapped me on the shoulder. "So weird," I told him. "I just had another random encounter with a friend."

This morning I couldn't bear getting up at 8:30 (poor me, right?) so I slept in a half hour and took the later train. As I was reading Details I felt some asshole kick my foot. I looked up to give a deathglare and the asshole with the lovely Angelique, whom I met in November and hung out with a few times (including at PodcampWest, where this picture was taken) before she headed home to Puerto Rico. Turns out she's been living a mile from me in Berkeley for the past month. Yay!

Click To Play

GUBA's T.J. DeGroat (that's me!) talks to coworker Kathleen Morford about penis power, vagina power and hosting sex shows with mom.

I Hate Muni

Multimedia message
Originally uploaded by tjdee.

BART can be lame, but nothing compares to Muni's insanity.

Kelly's new single:



I love the bridge and I bet it'll sound awesome with a live band. Diggin' the Pat Bentar look to go along with this journey further into the pop/rock world.

Kelly Singing Breakaway 10 Feet in Front of Me

Kelly Singing Breakaway 10 Feet in Front of Me
Originally uploaded by tjdee.

"Never Again," the first single from Kelly Clarkson's new CD, "My December" debuts a week from today.

RIGHT ON.

12 GALAXIES

DSC_0222.jpg
Originally uploaded by canativ1669.

SF Beta, held at 111 Minna last night, was all about Justin.TV, who came and was mobbed as soon as he walked through the door. But for me, the real star of the event was Frank Chu, who clearly was there for the free food.

As you can see, he brought his sign. He actually put it down in a corner so he could house the buffet and L.A. and I joked about stealing it. Frank must have sensed how depraved and scandalous initialed people are because he almost immediately went over and grabbed his beloved HILGENDORF.

Fin.

OK, Sin Bandera can suck it. I'm now totally all about Mexicali-based band Reik and specifically the group's latest single, "Invierno," which you can listen to here.

I am realizing that I have a major thing for blonde Latinos like Noel Schajris, one of the two guys from the popular group Sin Bandera. He's an Argentine and I want to worship at his altar until the end of time. Also, this song is really pretty.

Doing My Best Britney

Doing My Best Britney
Originally uploaded by tjdee.

I've gone crazy, ya'll!

I think I'm going to get myself an early birthday/teejaymas present. (It's all part of the master plan.)

Caught On Film

IMG_4984
Originally uploaded by rustyp.

As Lauren describes it, "One of the great moments in intense awkwardness captured for posterity."

Say it with me now:

LOVES IT.

The Nerve!

Retarded
Originally uploaded by tjdee.

Ah! Someone had the nerve to have a heart attack on the train in front of ours, right at Embarcadero station. So we were stuck in the tube for about 20 minutes. The most annoying part (besides mofo's heart attack not waiting until Montgomery) was that the driver got the very front door of our train onto the platform and urged EVERYONE who wanted to get off at Embarcadero, which is like half the train at this time of day, to head up to that door. I was in the second to the last car and, sure enough, by the time I sighed my way to the second car to the front, the entire train moved onto the platform.

Happy Monday.

4eva!

Bar Shot
Originally uploaded by tjdee.

She's looking at my camera and I'm looking at her cameraphone.

Hours later we would be photo'd again in a country bar on Avenue A by a lesbian named T.J. She was hitting on Lauren like a mofo.

Highlights from the GayVN Awards:

Kathy Griffin (whose off-the-cuff remarks were as funny as her prepared stuff) asking hot-ass porn star whose name I don't know to strip.

The crowd ordering hot-ass porn star whose name I don't remember to strip.

Audience member shouting "antichrist" as Michael Lucas accepted an award on behalf of an actor who wasn't present.

Chick a few rows ahead of me stumbling insanely toward her seat and then being dragged out of the theater with the help of two security guards --- while her titty was hanging out.

Pictures TK.

(BTW, there was one really touching moment; Kathy announced that she was especially thrilled to be with her gays because her father had died the week before and, without this previously scheduled appearance, she would've been balling at home.)

Not my favorite flying experience, that’s for sure. Shit list material, people.

I'm not sure if it was a blessing or a curse to walk into Oakland Airport on Valentine’s Day without much knowledge about the weather in NYC or many -- any, really -- concerns about getting to JFK without delay. I think my amazing luck getting to and from snowy Denver during my Christmas vacation made me believe I was impervious to major air travel-related issues. But boy, was I wrong.

Everything seemed great at Oakland and in the air -- until about an hour before our scheduled arrival in New York. When the captain's voice came over the PA system, I knew we were in for trouble. But I couldn't believe it when he announced that we were about to begin our initial decent into the ... Atlantic City area. Oy effing vey. Everyone groaned and/or laughed. Especially the vociferous and borderline retarded middle-aged couple sitting directly behind me. Jesus, were they annoying or what? I really wanted to ask them where in the Bay Area they lived so I could avoid the neighborhood at all costs.

We sat on the ground in Atlantic City for about 20 minutes before we received word that we would, in fact, deplane for an unknown period of time. We were warned that we shouldn't stray too far away from our gate for fear of missing precious information. So I sat nearby and plugged in my computer. I was stoked when the flight was called to reboard after only 20 minutes. Maybe I'd make my V Day dinner reservation after all. But then I realized JetBlue had called another flight. In fact, a total of four JetBlue flights from California had been forced to land in Atlantic City (where the only dining option was a mom-and-pop restaurant called THRASHERS). I grabbed some fried food and started watching a DVD until it was our turn to board. But then we just chilled on the runway.

At 8 we were told that JFK had cleared JetBlue to send the four AC planes toward New York every 10 minutes, beginning at 8. We were fourth up, so that meant a 40-minute wait. At about 8:30, the annoying captain came on again to tell us that we needed a visit from the de-icing truck, so that could delay us a few minutes. Then, as the truck was doing its thing, we were told that some mofo organization had ordered a no-landing window at JFK for at least half an hour. G to the O to the D damn it!

We finally took off around 9:10, so not too long after we were expected to take off, but at that point I was super bummed (fancy dinner with free bottle of champagne canceled). When we landed at JFK people clapped (so obvious) but a bit prematurely. We had to park and wait a good 30 minutes as JFK tried to shuffle the many fucked flights to and from gates.

You better believe I sent a detailed email as soon as I got to Alli and Lauren's apartment. I received an email response a few days later explaining what had happened (nothing I didn't already know) and basically telling me to suck it -- but nicely, of course. JetBlue is nothing if not chipper and polite. To my surprise, I received another email a couple of days letter saying I'd receive a full refund and a voucher worth the price of the fucked flight.

So JetBue is off my shit list. And all it took was some cash. Surprise, surprise.

(BTW, on my return flight I had to sit next to a woman and her toddler, both of whom were sharing a seat. I was in the aisle so I had to get up approx. 17,562 times. Later, at BART, a stranger came up to me and said I deserved a medal for dealing with it. Also, the CEO of JetBlue came on our flight to apologize for last week's insanity. I appreciated the gesture but he held us up a good three minutes. Time is money, bitches!)

Wanna watch online videos on your TV, like, now? Check this out. We're working with SanDisk on USBTV, a simple tool that helps bridge the TV and computer. We're looking for a bunch of field testers. Yay.

Current obsession:

Sara Ramirez, best known for playing Dr. Torres (or now, Callie O'Malley) on "Grey's Anatomy." I recently realized that she won a Tony for "Spamalot," in which she tore up the muthaeffin' stage. Homegirl has a crazy-good voice. Seriously? Seriously.

Um, also, I kind of made a Sara/Grey's fanvid Friday for some reason (there *was* actually a reason besides me simply being a serious nerd and somewhat obsessed with that week's episode, which featured a totally on-point Ellen Pompeo). Enjoy:

Looking HOT

Best EVER
Originally uploaded by tjdee.

This makes me really happy. I think I have a crush on him.

Punta Morro

Punta Morro
Originally uploaded by Alex Dinamo.

Yay. Just reserved a suite at the hotel behind this photog's lens in Ensenada for early April. ¡Vamos a Mexico, cabrones!

There is a lot of garbage but also a few gems in this site's archive. While searching for something for the GUBA Blog, I came across this faux fight between me and a former DivInc colleague. Not so funny to those with no knowledge of the inside jokes she makes reference to, but super funny to me.

"TJ,

Can we talk?

I feel as though a truce needs to be called between us, regarding our recent behavior toward one another. When I discussed the situation with my anger management counselor, he suggested I initiate a dialogue with you in the hopes that a cordial working relationship could be establish, which may produce a long-lasting, and rewarding, friendship for years to come. I shared with him our good times - your faxed love letter to me, "D" as in "DeGroat," when you pulled the handle off the fireplace at Clyde's, Leonard - those were good times. However, I also mentioned some of our darkest days - my punching you and pouring water over your head, you calling my hair ugly and saying my nails looked trashy, and you're over-competitive bowling attitude. With a little effort, and a lot of love, I think we can work through all this bitterness, before real violence occurs.

What do you say? Can we be friends?

Your sincere neighbor,
Stephanie

***

Dear Stephanie,

Please notice the following spelling/grammar corrections:

"could be establishED" - line 2
"your" instead of "you're" - line 4

Once you've mastered the English language, perhaps we can heal. Until then, bite me, number one Heather.

Warmest regards,
T.J. DeGroat"

I'm walking down the street with a coworker after a coffee run and she says to me, "Gay or French?" I turned to see who she's talking about and it's someone I worked with three and a half years ago, with whom I've had no contact since leaving the company. It was so random. And he really is gay, so right on, K.

T.J.'s Law

T.J.'s Law
Originally uploaded by tjdee.

If, in a stack of 100 lids, there is one without an opening, I will grab that one.

I wish I would notice these things sooner.

My favorite non-family video of the moment:

My most interesting Flickr photos. I like most of these. Bonus.

Saluti!

Saluti!
Originally uploaded by tjdee.