I'll be covering the Gay & Lesbian Business Expo on March 17. The NY Times will be presenting a panel discussion with some of the cast members and writers of Queer As Folk, which should make a great story with a strong niche-marketing angle.

If I see Brian I'll hit him for being such a meanie!

Um. Just kidding.

My darling Britney, why must you dellude yourself so? Trying to be the next V.C. Andrews?

Holly Faye Lovell sure can sing. Everyone in Biscay, Mississippi, knows that. And when at fourteen she becomes the youngest student ever to win a scholarship to the prestigious Haverty School of Music, her dream of pursuing a singing career is on its way. But for the first time in her life, Holly must leave behind her mother, Wanda. Although they don’t have much in the way of money, there’s always been plenty of love . . . and there’s always been Wanda’s birthmark, an ugly red scar on the side of her face that makes people who don’t know her turn away. Now that Holly's off with her posh new friends and new life, she’s ashamed to find herself embarrassed by her mom and their humble background. And Wanda finds herself wanting to reveal a long-hidden secret . . . a secret that could destroy their bond forever.

...from the new book by Britney and Lynne Spears, due out in April from Random House.

Smack my bitch up?

Change my pitch up.

New Brunswick life is a very odd series on contradictions. During a five-minute walk down a main street one can hear:

"Existentialism has no place in this paper!"

and

"Girl! You know I saw you on Queen Latifah!"

* I actually heard both of those things today at lunch.

Alrighty, kids. Roll up your sleeves and bounce to the beat of the newst dance craze to come out of the tropics. That's right, it's the FACE SLAP.

Top Brazilian performers refuse to sing it. A big-city mayor begged radio stations not to play it and women say it is degrading and dangerous. It's the Face Slap, a lilting, uptempo ditty about a woman who asks her lover to hit her.

Hmm. Wanna try this one, Ben? You can be the chick.

A reply to Eva DV:

I sincerely appreciate your approval and I respect your relationship with My Ben, but, Eva, the constant phone calls, the messages, the emails and IMs have to stop. Now, I understand that once you go TJ you never go back, but, please, you're tearing up my heart - which belongs to only one.

Really, I'm kind of happy to have strengthened the Ann Arbor connection. It's quite harrowing trying to win over the friends, you know? Especially friends with such a long, frightfully incestuous history. But if I can banter with the ho (I mean that lovingly, dear), then I feel like I'm in the clear.

Hi hi hi Ben! Hi Marion! Hi Kate! Hi Graham! And, of course, hi my darling Eva!