I think I've linked to this before, but it's worth another look. Absolute genius. Via Candice's newly working site.

"I drink to make other people more interesting." George Jean Nathan

The 9 bus, which runs from the financial district down Potrero Ave. is the bus I take to get downtown. This route has the nicest, newest busses, which is ironic because the people are always so gross. Today, a man wearing pseudo army fatigues sat across from me. I couldn't see the title of his book, but there was definitely a huge swastika on it.

The great thing about working.writing from home is that I can get out of here at 2 if I want to and hop over to Dolores Park for some tennis. Yesterday was 70 degrees, not a cloud in the sky - gorgeous. And it's supposed to hold up through Monday. Yay for San Francisco.

I thought the Oscars were really well done. Despite the length, they were sort of smooth. Whoopi was funny, the speeches were pretty decent (except Jennifer Connelly, who was so frightfully boring and mellow!) and the fashions were elegant.



But Gwyneth Paltrow!?!?! What are you thinking? She looks like a 70-year-old droopy-chested man in a wifebeater.

Indeed, I married my mother to her long-time boyfriend, Earl, last weekend. Thanks to those crazy Internet people, aka the Universal Life Church, I am now the Rev. T.J. DeGroat. You can become a minister too! It all came about because my mom was complaining that hiring a minister was going to cost $400, which seemed awfully high to her. I realized that I had been ordained as a joke freshman year of college, so I checked it all out and it's legal. I'm thinking I could sell my services for a nominal fee and swipe the Dr. Seuss vows my mom found and rewrote (Will you take her as your wife? Will you love her all your life?) and become the toast of the Bay Area.



Anyway, the wedding was nice. In a Victorian house in Englewood, N.J. Ben and my friend Lauren were there. The whole thing was Irish themed - on St. Patrick's Day, shamrocks everywhere, an Irish drum with the family crest was displayed, etc.There was much liquor to be enjoyed, thank Jesus.



On Monday, which was snowy and rainy and freezing, Ben and I spent like 14 hours in NYC. I had my SuChin Pak interview (she was fabulous and I got to hang out in the TRL studios) and we saw "Kissing Jessica Stein" in the East Village, which made me want to LIVE in the Village. We also hung out with Ben's friends and had an awesome Italian dinner in their cute neighborhood.



Hmmm, what else? My missing roommate, who left for Christmas and never came back, is indeed back. He's moving his stuff out by the end of next week, in time for me to move into his room. Then when Janalese gets back from New Hampshire, she can take her old room, which I had been living in. Ya get? So, the best part is that the new room is freaking 500 bucks a month. In San Francisco, not in the ghetto. Amen.



And although the DSL situation is still fucked, it looks like there will be a cable modem in this joint within two weeks. Obviously, I'm not holding my breath.

So, I married my mom last weekend.



More on that later...